15 ways partners can use music during labor and birth

Hey there, partners! Step away from the crib assembly! Put down that Costco-size pack of diapers, and put a bookmark in The Birth Partner.

In all this excitement of preparing to have a baby, I want to encourage you not to forget about yourself. Your self-care, confidence, and mental well-being are super important during your partner's labor and birth. While she may be on center stage during labor, you are the best-supporting actor in labor. Your role is to help her get through this. But you can't do that if you haven't practiced your lines and are exhausted, starving, and mentally frazzled on opening night. Has the acting metaphor gone far enough?

So, here are fifteen tips and tricks on how you can use music during pregnancy, labor and birth:

The simple choice to use music can both nurture you and help you stay connected with your partner and baby. Here's how:

Practice relaxing to your playlists

During the last trimester of your partner’s pregnancy, practice relaxing to the playlists that you enjoy. Try to set aside at least 30 minutes every evening before bed to put on the music. Turn off your phones and the TV, and wind down to the sound of the music. This practice is extremely important to both you and your partner before the birth. The more you practice falling into a deeply relaxed state to the music before labor and birth, the easier it will be for you to fall back into that state during labor and birth. 

Connect with your baby in utero using music

I know you’re busy getting the house ready for the new baby, buying last-minute diapers and supplies. As you anxiously await the new arrival. take some time to connect with your baby in utero using music. While your partner relaxes comfortably, you can put on a song that makes you think of your baby. You can use speakers, or just sing directly to your baby! Use this time to send good thoughts to your baby and let them know that you are so excited to meet them!

Create your own playlists for labor

Come up with a couple of your own playlists of songs to have at the ready on your phone.

• One playlist could be songs that make you feel confident, empowered, and pumped up. Think of songs that you would belt out in the car when no one is around. or songs that you put on when you need to get pumped for a workout or primed for a work presentation. 
• Another playlist could be songs that help you to relax and focus. Think of songs that you might put on when you want to wind down from a long day. Or songs that you would put on if you were relaxing at the beach.

Use these playlists any time you need a boost. During labor, any time your partner is relaxing between contractions, after an epidural, or if you need a few-minute break (and she’s being supported by a doula or other support person), put one of your playlists on with headphones and let the music reboot you.  

Music during early labor

During early labor, put on a playlist of songs that are meaningful to you and your partner – songs you love to listen to together, your wedding song, songs that remind you of fun times you’ve had. Use this as a time to connect and show her your love and support.  

Support labor progress by moving to the music during labor

During labor, support your partner by swaying, slow dancing, walking, and moving with them to the music. If they want to walk around during early labor or get in the shower or tub, you can carry along your wireless speaker and keep the music going!

Let the music guide your massage during labor

If your partner enjoys massage during labor, let the tempo of the music guide your massage strokes.  Use firm, even pressure starting at the top of her back and working your way down, working slowly to the sound of the music.

Focus on the music instead of the clock

Instead of focusing on the clock during contractions, focus on the music. Encourage your partner by telling them that they just got through another song, and every song brings them that much closer to seeing your baby.

Let the music encourage position changes

To encourage position changes during labor, use the music as a guide.  Suggest to your partner, “let’s stay here for two more songs, then we’ll change positions.” 

Use the music as a reminder for a check-in

Use the beginnings and ends of each song to do a mental check-in with yourself and your partner – are you hydrated? Do you need to use the bathroom? Are you sitting comfortably? Do you need to stretch? Do they need anything from you? Can you give her some words of support?

Keep calm and change the playlist if things feel stalled or stuck!

If your partner seems stuck, frustrated, exhausted, or like they just can’t do it anymore, change the playlist. Sometimes a simple change in music can help her feel re-energized and refocused on the baby that’s on the way!

Use the music to help you take deep breaths

During transition and pushing, focus on the music and use it as a reminder to take a deep breath and relax your body.  Allow the sound of the music to support you and your partner and remember that you both can do this!

Allow the music to help you bond

After the baby is born and you are cuddling and bonding with your baby and partner, put on a playlist of quiet love songs or lullabies to have on in the background.  Hum and sing along to your baby!

Use the music after baby is born

In the early days and weeks postpartum, play the song that you played for your baby in utero (see #2) while you hold and comfort them.

Hum and sing to your baby to support bonding

Don’t be afraid to hum and sing to your baby! It doesn’t matter if you think you’re a good singer or not, or even what song you sing. Your voice, eye contact, and soothing touch are vitally important to your baby, and by singing to them you will strengthen your bond even more. 

Alright, partners - take these tips, try them out, and find what works for you!

How exactly does music help during labor and birth?

I think it's safe to say that everyone has experienced the amazing power of music at one point or another, whether it is listening to your favorite relaxing tune to unwind from a hard day, putting on loud, uptempo music to get pumped for a workout, or dancing around the kitchen to your favorite salsa music while you make dinner (oh, is that just me?). 

The benefits of music in labor are powerful. Here are the seven foundational processes of music during labor and birth:

1. Biological: Music is used during birth to help the laboring mother regulate her breathing, lower blood pressure and respiration, and decrease discomfort.  

2. Psychological: Music can enhance the laboring person's ability to tap into their coping mechanisms that they learned in childbirth prep class. Having music on can even make time seem to pass faster than it is. 

3. Sociological: Music can evoke social support from others and holds the birthing team together, including midwives, nurses, doctors, doulas, family members, and the music therapist

4. Emotional: Music can be used to match or affirm moods and feelings the laboring person is experiencing (technically this is called the iso principle), or may be used to help the mother shift or change her mood if she is feeling stuck.

5. Developmental: Music can support the process of becoming a mother and can help the new parent work through her fears and let go. 

6. Spiritual: Music can enhance and support spiritual processes of the laboring person. It may even evoke a peak or transpersonal experience. 

7. Environmental: Music can be very important in blocking out extraneous sounds in the birth environment. These sounds may interfere with the laboring woman's entrainment process.  Music also provides a "sound blanket" which fills the space and wraps the birthing mother in sounds of comfort and safety.  

The amazing thing is that the benefits of music may be experienced by the entire birth support team. Music can make the birth experience calmer, more comfortable, and more meaningful for everyone present.