So you’re going to be meeting your baby soon and are getting your home and mind prepared. Or maybe you recently had a baby and are scrambling to figure out how to make your postpartum time easier all around. Here are our favorite tips and tools for setting yourself (and your baby) up for success postpartum.
GET YOUR SPACE READY
In the first few weeks postpartum, you’re going to be spending a lot of time at home (resting, recovering, feeding your baby, sitting on the couch while your baby naps on you, and generally taking it easy). Set your space up to be comfy and convenient for you.
Have a spot in each room where you can safely put your baby down. This could be a dockatot, bassinet, or any other “baby holding device” (not a technical term). Note that there are very few of these “baby holding devices” that are considered safe sleep surfaces for a baby by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). However, I’m a parent myself and I can tell you from personal experience that your baby most likely WILL sleep in some places that aren’t technically considered “safe” by the AAP. This is each parent’s decision to navigate, so do some research and decide what you feel comfortable with.
Gather all the pillows. You’ll be spending lots of time reclining on the couch, bed, rocking chair, etc. Put pillows behind your back, under your arms, and under your baby so you’re fully supported. It’s easy to forget to set YOUR body up correctly before holding or feeding your baby, and you’ll end up with a stiff neck, sore back, and more. I suggest having a nursing pillow under your baby while you sit with them on your lap (whether or not you’re feeding your baby with your body, bottle feeding, or doing a combo). It wraps around your torso and is kind of a shelf to put your baby on. Put an additional pillow under the nursing pillow so your baby sits nice and high and you don’t have to hunch over to feed or snuggle them.
GATHER YOUR SUPPLIES
Get yourself a caddy with a handle. This will be your portable “essentials holder” that you can move from room to room with you. In the caddy, put all the things you want to have at arms reach at any given time:
A straw-top water bottle. Trust me, get a straw top. You’ll be much more likely to take sips if you can grab it with one hand and not have to unscrew a top.
All the snacks. Think of things you can eat one-handed: energy bars, dried fruit, protein shakes, dark chocolate, whatever you like!
Lip balm, a nail clipper and file (for yourself or your baby’s sharp talons), hair ties, cough drops, gum.
A burp cloth to wipe random baby dribbles.
Your phone, which goes without saying.
Random stuff you probably haven’t thought of: an extra large phone charging cable, and wireless headphones for enjoying music or a show without waking the sleeping baby on your chest.
GIVE YOUR BODY SOME LOVE
Your body just went through a lot. Like, a LOT a lot. Whether your labor was 40 hours or 4 hours, whether your baby was born vaginally or via c-section, whether you had complications or it was smooth sailing, your body will need time and space to recover. A baby just came out of there!
Gather some postpartum recovery essentials. We like this kit from Fridamom, this one from Bodily, and this one from Baobei Body.
Grab some perineal spray and nipple cream. We like the “take care down there trifecta” and nipple butter from Earth Mama Organics.
Connect with bodywork specialists in your area like pelvic floor PTs, postpartum massage therapists, and acupuncturists. If you have a few weeks left before your baby arrives, we’d recommend setting these connections up now so it’s one less thing you have to think about postpartum.
Get a postpartum belly wrap. After your baby is born, your belly is going to feel empty and wobbly for a while until your core muscles get the message that there’s not a giant baby in there anymore and they need to wake up. Using a belly wrap gives you stability and a sense of being “held together,” which feels really good postpartum. I’m not recommending a belly wrap for “getting your body back” or “losing the baby weight.” News flash: you already have a body, you don’t need to get it back. You just had a human come out of your body, love and appreciate it exactly as it is. I like these belly wraps from Baobei Body, Bellies Inc., and Bellybandit.
RALLY YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM
Know the difference between visitors and helpers.
A visitor is someone who:
you may feel the need to “host,” such as offering them a drink, having small talk, and focusing on how they’re doing
Wants to come and hold your baby but doesn’t offer to do anything for you
May not “read the room” and may overstay their welcome (which, btw is probably about 30 minutes max when you’re in your early postpartum time)
A helper is someone who:
Is coming to do a specific task
Might be hired by you, such as a postpartum doula, night nurse, or house cleaner
Recognizes that you may not want to have small talk and knows their visit is not about them
Doesn’t blink an eye when they see your nipples, your giant postpartum underwear, or your pumped milk in the fridge
One way to think about visitors postpartum is to ask yourself: “would I feel comfortable crying, bleeding, or leaking milk in front of this person?” If not, you may want to hold off on their visit for a few weeks. The postpartum time is very…well, moist. I’ll just say it. There’s lots of moisture coming out of your body (milk, blood, tears, sweat) and you may not want just anyone to be in your space during that time.
Have someone set up a Meal Train for you. A meal train is a calendar where friends, family, or coworkers can sign up for a day to bring you a meal. It doesn’t have to be home cooked, it could be takeout. The point is, it’s food you don’t have to prepare for yourself. Setting up a meal train is a great task for a friend, family member or close coworker who asks you “how can I support you?” in your last weeks of pregnancy.
Pro tip with a meal train: Put a cooler on your front porch with a note, “thank you so much for bringing us a meal! Please put it in the cooler and text us once it’s dropped off. We can’t wait to visit with you once we’ve settled in with our new baby.” This lets people know that you’re not accepting visitors right now, but that you appreciate the meal and will reach out when you feel ready.
Discuss boundaries with your partner now. Your partner may want to have their best friend visit in the first few days you’re home with your new baby, but you might not feel ready for that. Talk through what each of you thinks you’ll want as far as visitors go. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or exhausted with visitors, come up with a code word or phrase that tells your partner “this person is overstaying their welcome and needs to leave NOW.” Or just get up and say “I’m going to go feed the baby / put them down for a nap” and excuse yourself to another room.
FIGURE OUT LOGISTICS
A conversation to have now with your partner is: who currently does the tasks that keep the household running, and who will do those tasks while you’re recovering from birth? Think about the cooking, cleaning, pet walks, laundry, paying bills, caring for older kids, etc. Come up with a plan now so there’s not arguments or resentment later when your expectations aren’t met (also, if you have expectations that you haven’t communicated, don’t be surprised when they’re not met. Your partner can’t read your mind, so communicate!)
If your partner doesn’t currently do much cooking, we recommend they come up with at least 5 meals they can make, and start practicing them now before the baby is here. They don’t have to be elaborate, just 5 meals they feel confident making. It might be spaghetti and meatballs, rotisserie chicken from the store and a salad, burritos, stir fry, pizza, or soup. Put the 5 meals on a sticky note on the fridge so they can easily glance at it and get an idea of what to cook on any given day.
YOU’VE GOT THIS!
As you plan for your postpartum time, remember that you’re going to figure it out, and you’re the perfect parent for YOUR baby. It’s normal for there to be a learning curve with any new situation, and recovering from birth while raising a tiny human definitely has a learning curve. But take it one day (or hour) at a time, rally your support system in advance, and remind yourself that you’re amazing and are doing a great job even when it doesn’t feel like it.
If you want to learn even more about how to set yourself up for success postpartum, take Beth’s Postpartum Planning class with Birthsmarter. It’s a 2 hour virtual class held monthly.
And if you’re local to Salt Lake City, contact us to learn about how a postpartum doula can make a huge difference in the early postpartum time.
You’ve got this!