Julie Marks photo
The magical laboring cave…dilation station…whatever us doulas call it, it’s one of our favorite places for our clients to labor: the bathroom, and more specifically, the toilet! Why do we love it? Read on!
What’s so special about the bathroom?
Before we list our reasons for loving the toilet for labor, take a second to think about how most mammals give birth. If you’ve ever worked on a farm or had pets at home that had babies, you might remember that mammals instinctively seek out dark, quiet, unobserved, safe spaces to have their babies. A cat will climb behind a laundry pile in a dark closet to have her kittens, not give birth in the middle of a loud living room. Humans are no different. The hormones that help babies be born are produced more when we feel cozy, safe, supported, and unobserved. So with that in mind, here are a few reasons we recommend our clients labor in the bathroom:
it’s one of the most private spaces in someone’s home or hospital room. in labor, the more the birthing person feels safe and unobserved, the more their body will produce oxytocin which causes contractions. More safety = more oxytocin = more contractions = eventually, a baby!
being that the bathroom is a private space, no one is going to barge in on your in there and disrupt your labor flow.
we have been conditioned since early childhood that the bathroom is the place to “let go” and release. There is a natural instinct to relax and release when we’re on the toilet (especially if we’re in the bathroom alone and the door is locked).
the specific shape of the toilet allows for more pressure to be put on our pelvic floor, helping things to move down and out. That’s why we doulas call the toilet “dilation station” - because we often see dilation progress after our clients sit there for a while!
How to set up your magical laboring cave
To get the most use out of the bathroom + toilet in labor, here are a few tips for setup:
make it dark. Turn off all overhead lights and just have a few LED candles, twinkle lights, or a soft lamp.
make it moody. Bring in a bluetooth speaker and play music that gets you out of your head and into your body. Ideally, we want you to be in “labor land,” meaning you’re not residing in your thinking brain and are spaced out and following your body’s instincts.
make it smell lovely. Bring in an essential oil diffuser and add a few drops of your favorite scent. Some of our favorites for labor are peppermint, citrus, or lavender, but go with what you like.
make it private. Close the bathroom door, and even put a note on the door if you’re worried about staff coming in without knocking. “Please do not disturb, I’m in labor land. If you need something, please talk to my partner or doula.”
make it comfortable. One of our favorite ways to set clients up on the toilet is to have them straddle the toilet backwards, put several pillows in front of them, and let them just lean forward onto the pillows. A bonus idea: if you have yoga blocks or anything else that is about 6-9” off the ground, put one under each foot to help the birthing person get into more of a “squat” position. We’ll often use two trash cans turned on their sides. They can relax in this position for as long as they want. We often have clients labor like this for 30-60 minutes.
Is there a time when I shouldn’t labor on the toilet?
There may be some scenarios when laboring on the toilet isn’t the best idea. One time when you can’t labor on the toilet is if you have an epidural. Once an epidural is placed, you are not able to labor outside the bed, so the bathroom wouldn’t be available to you at that point.
Another possible time when laboring on the toilet wouldn’t be a good choice is if doing so causes your baby’s heart rate to decelerate, or makes you feel extremely uncomfortable or dizzy. Basically, follow your own body’s lead and if your body is telling you to move off the toilet, then do. As for your baby, your care provider will be monitoring your baby’s heart rate (either intermittently or continuously) and can let you know if they have any concerns. In my time as a doula, I’ve never seen laboring on the toilet cause any heart rate issues for the baby, but it’s a possibility.
What if I have my baby on the toilet?!
While it’s unlikely that you’ll unknowingly give birth on the toilet, especially if you’re a first time parent, sometimes birth surprises us! Typically as labor progresses you will begin to feel more and more pressure in your pelvic floor (like you have to poop). If you begin to feel a really strong sensation that you have to poop, let your provider know and they’ll either have you move back to the bed, stand up, or just support you while you continue to labor in the bathroom. Depending on how open your care provider is to catching babies in all sorts of positions, they may just help you birth your baby right there on (or near) the toilet!
If this is not your first baby, there’s a bit more of a chance that labor could move quicker and could catch you by surprise. If you feel your baby being born, instinct will most likely tell you to reach down and support your baby as they come out, then bring them to your chest.
If you’re ever in doubt or just don’t feel comfortable laboring on the toilet, then don’t! It’s just one of many options for labor, and you should always do what feels best for yourself.